Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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