Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
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