When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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