i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
