yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
