She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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