He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
