So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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