What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
