I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
