I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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