her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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