I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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