Small penises have feelings too.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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