it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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