A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Can i not drive my cunt home
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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