She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
