..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
