True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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