I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize
