I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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