I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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