jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
