So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize