So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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