So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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