it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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