took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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