before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My bed smells like the plague
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