white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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