Already got asked if we're dating
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Your penis caused this!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
