I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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