He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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