Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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