you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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