I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
