Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(789): View more from

If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.

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(585): View more from New York

okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.

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(559): View more from California

She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.

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(801): View more from Utah

New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.

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(574): View more from Indiana

I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.

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(317): View more from Indiana

It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!

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