Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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