pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
