I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He kissed a someone with a penis
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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