; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
