What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
