Who did Billy Mays play for?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
