Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
