What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
