just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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