What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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