does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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