tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
