Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I love you.
Bad choice
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
