Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
