What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
