How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize