Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
