oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
