Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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