I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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