Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize