Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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