Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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