It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
