Her vagina should come with caution tape.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
